They say we have a few more weeks of fall, but for me, come December 1 – it’s winter. So last night I pulled out the full suite of boots and unzipped the chunky sweaters from the plastic storage bags. I could say it was a leisurely evening, re-orienting my home and therefore my mindset to the change of seasons. But in reality, I was doing that while wearing my Jawbone so that I could join Rachel on a last minute urgent conference call all the while giving my kids the “one minute” sign in response to their requests for help with everything from homework to hair straightening. I’m now writing this blog from Chicago— O’Hare, en route to DC for meetings where I’ll stay overnight to have dinner with my oldest son who is there at school before heading home on an AM flight that gets me into the office in time to record our weekly radio show.
I can see you all, nodding knowingly. Ah …the challenges of work-life balance.
But that is NOT the point, friends. Work-life balance is a dangerous myth. My professional and personal lives have rarely been in perfect sync, with the scope and scale of my work nicely matched to what was happening at home. More often, my experience has been bending fully to what requires focus at the time—a newborn baby led me to skew in one direction for a while, a newborn company led me to skew in the opposite direction for a while. And now it’s about phases where I need to surrender to whatever matters most at the time.
Which reminds me of something I heard recently. Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s dynamic COO, has given some great speeches about getting more women into the C-Suite. She totally gets all the external obstacles that keep women’s noses pressed to the glass ceiling. But she also tells young women to “take a seat at the table” by owning their ambition and reaching for big opportunities: “Don’t leave before you leave.” In other words, keep your foot on the professional gas pedal until you absolutely have to shift downward, don’t go for work-life balance at every step of the way. Know what phase you’re in when you’re in it, and push that all the way.
Which doesn’t mean that companies shouldn’t attract and keep their best people by offering flexibility, telecommuting and job shares. And not just for moms and dads. At ROI, we have structures and schedules that help our staff do great work even while they train for the marathon, finish graduate school, or get married. Because we know that happy workers do great work.
By the time it’s all over, your career should have been balanced. But not at every step along the way. It’s not going to be 50-50 every year. Some years, you’ll swerve 80-20 one way; some years you’ll go 80-20 in the other direction.
Another terrific voice on these issues comes from Cali Williams Yost, a corporate work-life expert whose book, Work + Life – Finding the Fit That’s Right for You, encourages each person to own his or her work+life fit, at every stage. Which leaves room for the self-described workaholic and the person who needs to take his or her career down a notch to take care of kids or parents. For now.
The key is to ask yourself – What matters most to me right now? – and then make your choices. Tell yourself the truth. I’m willing to bet that, if you answer this question honestly, your personal life or your work will come first. Your life will be great if you’re clear about what you want and what you’re willing to give up to get it.
We’d love to hear your stories and how are you learning to make work and life fit together – for what matters to you, right now.
- posted by Suzanne
