I had to tell myself to sit up straight because I was exhausted, and had zero energy to listen to this pretty, perky redhead that my boss had hired as a consultant to work with our business. It was like I wasn’t even in the room as she tried to engage the group by making provocative comments about us and our work.. She was bright enough, but I had no idea why this woman had been hired to “fix” us. I knew what our company needed. More money. More time. More products in the marketplace. Go away, lady. I got work to do.
But it turned out that what needed to be fixed was…me. I was in my early 30′s and I was working 60 hours a week for a boss and a board and I was totally focused on making sure I exceeded expectations. Always. So that I could get what I wanted from this company. What did I want? Power? Money? Respect? All the above? I wasn’t too sure. But I was sure that somebody needed to give it to me. The stress of proving myself and the long hours were not only taking a physical toll, but my marriage was flat-line, my kids were never getting the best of me, and my social life was non-existent. I was miserable.
Despite my crankiness, I fought myself to pretend to pay attention as Rachel pranced across the room, telling us what she thought needed to be done, and I had to watch, biting the inside of my cheek as I saw all this extra work piling up around each of her recommendations.
When the meeting finally ended, I was asked by my boss to spend some time with Rachel. I rolled my eyes without moving them (it’s a trick I’ve perfected over the years). “Mmmm. It’d be my pleasure.” As we sat down in my office, Rachel looked at me with an intensely empathetic gaze of someone who cares (urgently): “Wow, Suzanne, you’re freaking miserable. (She used the f-bomb in our very first exchange, which woke me right up.) What’s going on with you!?”
Huh??! Where’d that come from? Why are we talking about me?? I looked at her, furious: “Excuse me? Are you a consultant or a therapist”?
Rachel just laughed and then she leaned way forward and said something that I’ve never forgotten. “You are way too special to be unhappy at work. Your work is where you should feel on fire and at home. First, I need to find out what you love. Then we need to find out what makes you a genius. And then we’re going to make sure you’re doing that all day every day. You’re never going to be happy if you don’t do what I’m telling you. That’s what will make you matter the way you deserve to.”
I broke open like a Jewish pinata, and from that moment Rachel and I became best friends. She had been hired to make our company better, but what happened was that she coached me straight into the life I always dreamed of. It became clear to me that I needed to do work every day that mattered to me and made me feel special, and that I was at the point in my career that I was ready to do this, and do it on my terms. It wasn’t about proving myself anymore. It was about claiming the truth of what I wanted …and making it happen.
That single conversation changed everything for me. That year I landed some huge deals, and on the heels of that success I was made CEO. I was definitely on track…but still I knew there was more.
Cut to deep winter 2007. One blustery morning in New York City, I met Rachel for breakfast at a cool Parisian bistro in Soho. Now it was Rachel’s turn to be in the dumps. The internet bubble had crashed, leaving her with a fistful of empty stock options and she hated her work consulting with Fortune 500 companies who didn’t know the difference between a great idea and a golf club. She had lost the vision of her future, and so I laid out mine. I wanted to start a firm based on the conversations she and I had been having every single day for the past 10 years. I wanted her to be my partner. “Rachel, it’s so simple: you’re a genius at digging out the big ideas. I’m a genius at selling them. We’re both genius at packaging stuff. We love telling powerful people what to do. So let’s go help companies package their biggest ideas for the market! Let’s show them how having a social purpose can be meaningful AND profitable. And let’s make a fortune doing what we love and what we’re genius at!” Rachel put down her croissant, clutched her heart with both greasy hands, and then I saw her cry for the first and last time since I’ve known her.
Five years later, Rachel and I have built a fantastic high-growth company with major clients and we love what we do. We’re bossy and busy and boy are we good. And we’re living the most important lesson we’ve ever learned: when you plant your genius—the thing you do best in the world—right on top of that thing you love to do, you will finally be home. You’ll feel special because you’ll be special—and that’s what matters.
- posted by Suzanne
